MOTHERHOOD DIARIES | The Perfect Mother - Mama vs Martha

I remember the day that the Martha Stewart show was put on hold due to her being accused of Tax Fraud. As much as I felt for the lady as a person, there was a response that I didn't expect from myself. Thank God!

For just a moment, we got a break from this picture perfect world that this lady was painting that a woman should be. Was it really achievable for a common woman these days? Doubt it. She never exposed the number of people that were there to look after her family, pick out her outfit, put her make up on, give her the proper lighting so that she can turn up and smile in front of the camera to paint the picture of a picture perfect zen mother cooking for us. I don't think she washed her own dishes as well.

What's my point? I believe there's a world full of mothers who are being judged or themselves thinking that they have to aspire to this ideal picture of a Martha Stewart. I am pretty sure that less than 1% of the world's mothers can even get close to that apparent perfect picture. In this aspiration, I doubt they even take stock of what an ideal mother is.

So it comes to the situation where I see mothers trying to portray a Martha Stewart icon of themselves online when I know it's not a reflection of their actual reality. Why do they do it? Is it for attention? Do they feel validated? Are they aiming to get a 'Martha Stewart of the year' award?

All this is not an aim to bring anyone down. I'm always for keeping it real and I truly feel for those trying so hard, to portray an ideal mother, and hurting themselves in the process. Even worse, trying to make others go down this very unattainable and self-destructive journey.

I look forward to seeing more women empower and encourage each other by being real, showing how difficult managing everything can be. What worked? What didn't?

Guess what. Mothers have off days. There are days when they just don't want to hang out with their kids just to breathe. There are days when a messy house and kids may be the best fun day that the whole family had. There are days when you have lost control with your temper only to go and make-up to your crying child afterwards. There are days when your child decides to turn around and say "I want another family!" as a retaliation of you wanting them to do their homework.

I look towards mothers at supporting each other to just be a 'Mama' and not 'Martha'. One is real, one is a worldly ideal that needs a whole team to achieve.

So what is an ideal Mama for me?

1. One who manages to keep their kids fed, safe and wanting to learn

2. Attempting to make their family decent contributors to this world.

3. Giving themselves a break and knowing it's ok to have an off day (when the first 2 are not achieved) and that others do as well.

4. Knowing that God is taking care of the rest.

That to me is an ideal Mama to aspire for.