MOTHERHOOD DIARIES | Tell Cinderella to go Jump!

Every girl walks into a marriage (whether by choice or semi-forced), she walks in with expectations. What are the typical types of expectations?

1. My man will provide for my needs financially
2. My man will be strong and stand up for me when I'm in trouble
3. My man will look into my eyes and earnestly ask "How are you my darling?"
4. We will walk side by side and talk and just enjoy each other's company ALL the time. No one else matters.
5. I will melt in his arms every moment I see him.

Anyone married for more than 10 years will laugh so hard (as I am right now).

Where did we get these ideals from? Cinderella, Snow White, Little Mermaid….beautiful ladies but all 3 of them are so naïve. Look at the men in all those movies. They come galloping on their horses (or sea horses) and show scenes of:

1. Being Princes with oodles of money
2. Apparently physically fit because that's what they've been training all their lives (and no signs of steroids).
3. All knowing exactly how to look into their woman's eyes and he magically sweeps her off her feet.
4. Since they are Princes, they don't exactly have to work so can spend the whole day with their woman walking arm in arm.
5. And he has a fantastic poster boy based physique that makes all women want to swoon in this arms.

"What's wrong with this picture? It's NOT reality!!"

My husband and I were discussing this. After a lot of "I wish you would do this" type of conversations, I stepped back one day and told him "you know what, it's not your fault actually….it's Cinderella's." That got his attention. "You want to explain that statement?" he said.

Well look at it, all little girls (that had access to TV or picture books) were given the stories of Cinderella. Pictures, words, scenarios in that story started forming impressions and expectations of what an ideal man should be. And so every girl got caught up in that fantasy. It wasn't enforced just once. Along came Snow White, then Little Mermaid (if you actually read the original story the ending is not as nice)….they all painted the same story about the perfect man.

Then we grow up, we get married and after the honeymoon, our heads start developing questions:

1. Wait….why aren't I sitting in oodles of money relaxed? (or being a Jumeirah Jane).
2. What do you mean that I also have to lift the table and move furniture around the house or the clothes basket?
3. Why doesn't he look at me like I'm a hot model and mesmerised every time I walk into the room?
4. Don't recall the last time we managed to walk hand in hand without the kids butting in.
5. And honey, I know that if I fall, I know you'll try but I'll take you down with me.

Then starts the blame. Then starts the discontent and arguing "I wish you would….<enter multiple scenarios>" but ultimately you just want to say "I wish you were Prince Charming from Cinderella".

But that's not exactly fair is it? Because just secretly, 

our men may have grown up wishing we were Cinderella, 

the damsel in distress, always looking pretty and waiting around just to swoon whenever HE walks into the room.

So I say, tell Cinderella to go jump. As much as I love my children to read fiction and get lost in stories, I really have stopped stressing on being a 'princess' or 'prince' because that's not going to help them in life and expectations of their future relationships. Have I found the ideal story for them to read? Not really but we keep mixing it up. Let my child know that there are different types of people out there. Let my child know that there are ideal relationships but when one goes down, the other picks up and covers.

What do you think?