MOTHERHOOD DIARIES | Stop Showing Off!

Recently the firstborn started piano lessons and with his amazing teacher has managed to master one song. He can now do it with his eyes closed. But….now he's started playing it to every guest and their dog as they walk in through the door. Much like a bridal march when the bride walks in, every person gets a classical song rendition as they walk in through our door.

Inevitably after a number of these episodes I eventually told him to cut it out and 'stop showing off'.

I get it, there are different types of parents. There's ones that are extremely proud and would force their kids to sing or dance in front of company. There are those that reserve letting others know that their kids are training until they reach the Olympics (It's a competition thing). These are obviously two extremes. I wouldn't even classify it as a cultural thing.

One thing that I grew up with though, aussies are very good at tearing down show offs. It's really fun actually because there's nothing more satisfying than bringing someone back down to earth (It's for their own good!). We tend to call show-offs as those people who have "tickets on themselves" (which means they would buy tickets to watch their own concert). Side effects are that people who are not used to this type of teasing can get hurt.

As a mother I'm sure I say a million retorts to my kids that "Super nanny" would not approve off. I caught this one and did my damage control (1 down, 987 to go).

So I had heard myself when I said those words to my son, "Stop showing off". I also saw the hurt response on his face.

If I actually broke it down to what I actually meant, I knew my irritation came from two points:

1. I'm sick of hearing that song 50 times.

2. I want to see my son grounded but that doesn't mean I'm not proud of where he's reached.

On the topic of being humble (aka grounded), I had a brilliant speaker Patrick Lencioni who coined the difference between humility and low self-confidence. 

Low Self Confidence is "Talking less of yourself"

Humility is "Talking about yourself less".

It was clear for me, I wanted him to be humble but confident in his abilities.

Eventually I did sit him down (did the whole eye to eye contact thing) and told him my two points that had irritated me. So as a 6 year old (going on 60) he nodded in understanding. We ended with a re-assuring hug.

So the bridal march only happens once in a while but now I just laugh. He's eager, he's happy with his achievement and he wants people to hear it! But he does one thing different, he comes and whispers in my ear, "Mamma, do you think they would like to hear me play?". God bless his innocent heart.