MOTHERHOOD DIARIES | Travelling with kidlets...

The first time I traveled with my firstborn is as clear to me as a Swiss bottle of water. I also remember that 'other' mother that traveled with me.

It wasn't her fault really. She just managed to make her life look like she was in control and had a peaceful, smiling baby while I appeared at the other end of the trip wanting to collapse and wonder if I was cut out for motherhood.

Let me go through a simple journey of a flight:

Packing...

ME:Days spent with the perpetual thought of, "Have I got everything? Am I missing something?" Going online and getting the checklists off other mothers and realising that I don't have those special blankets or toys they talk about. "Do I have I have all the meds? What if he gets malaria? (cause it's a packed flight!)".

SHE: No idea how she was but I can assume those 3 perfectly packed (and matching) bags were organised in alphabetical order and ready to go 1 week prior. Also note I had no idea this woman existed prior to the trip.

At the airport security....

ME: I was flying alone but felt very proud that I had bought a baby carrier and ready to treat him just like my back pack. On me and hands free. Yeah right. My firstborn decided that it was an awesome bouncer and decided to bounce the entire way to the ticket counter and to immigration. If I am to describe the feeling, it's like your chest and stomach jumping and pulling you as you walk.

Security was excellent. They made me remove everything. Apparently the carrier also had to be scanned and apparently I could not send the baby and the carrier through the x-ray as one bundle. So I unstrapped and strapped again on the other side (all whilst keeping an eye on the other bags with my 3rd and 4th eyes that I had to invent. 

Except the bags got held up because of liquids. Already tired from strapping and unstrapping, my words seem to fail me and I'm motioning "for baby, for baby, baby hungry". This is where the security guard had decided that I must not know english and spoke to me in a slow and loud voice. "IS....THAT.....ALL.....YOU.....HAVE? MA'AM.....YOU.....HAVE....TO....UNPACK.....YOUR.....BAG....FOR.....ME.". (Let's skip this bit where I wanted to physically strangle this man and I can write another story on that.)

So taking a deep breath and calming myself, with a carrier now digging into me as I had not clipped it properly and bouncing, I managed to unpack and pack everything again. We still had time.

SHE: This is when I saw this lady. She smiled serenly, calmly unstrapped her child, one hand smoothly removed and put everything on the other belt and the other hand held her curiously quiet child. They both smiled their way through the security as they joined in the koo-chi-coo.

Came out the other end, strapped themselves together, grabbed her bags without missing a step and went on her way.

Waiting at the check in....

ME: Ok, having gotten a chance to sit and the child now exhausted (remember the bouncing) and hungry, the wailing starts. This one bit I felt proud that I had the milk ready to go. Excellent. One point for mamma.

10 mins prior to boarding...first born decided to carry out one of his awesome volcanic eruption through his diaper. Great. Baby and Mamma needed to change. How I managed to get everything cleaned up and sort myself will forever remain as a secret in that Airport Toilet. Let's just say it was not pretty and some may flinch at how I handled my baby.

I came rushing out as the boarding had started and I had missed the initial call for families to board. So dodging the crowds, with a few understanding faces, I reached the sympathetic faces of the check-in counter seeing a mother handing her boarding pass like she reached the finish line at the end of a marathon. Heaving and ready to collapse.

SHE: Quietly fed the baby, put down the magazine and went forward to the counter on time. Smiled serenely as the staff koo-chi-cooo'ed the baby as they sailed down the ramp towards the aircraft.

During the flight....

ME: This was a 14 hour flight. Let me summarise the cycle that I went through:

1. Put the baby to sleep

2. Put the baby into the cot

3. Closed my eyes

4. Gently awoken from my exhausted slumber with a voice saying, "Ma'am, there's turbulence, you'll have to hold the baby."

5. Take the baby out, arms get tired, wait for the seat belt sign to go.

Repeat steps 1 to 5 about six times, before you finally give up your sleep and decide to just hold the baby in your aching arms.

Then your meal arrives. All I can say is, God bless the male pursor (senior cabin crew) who asked me "If you'll allow me, I'm happy to hold him while you eat". It had been 12 hours. I almost cried.

SHE: Somehow had a baby who just slept the entire flight, managed to eat with one hand while the baby carefully balanced like a gymnast on her lap (while they both slept).

Reaching your destination....

ME: I came scrambling out of the plane, inhaling deeply like I had been deprived of oxygen. I had packed off the carrier and decided to just hold the baby as I shot my way out of the airport as fast as I could. God bless my family that were waiting on the other end ready to take the baby and hand me McDonalds (fair trade I say).

SHE: Made a conscious decision to stop watching her. Two reasons. One, God bless this stranger and let her live her peaceful life. Two, focus on calming myself and stop trying to fit to some ideal picture.

Conclusion....

If I am to summarise for those travelling mammas. My husband and I enjoy travelling and it is a given that we're trying to travel as much as we can while we're in Dubai, as most places are definitely shorter distances than from Aussie land. So here are the principles I apply until my kids become self sufficient.

1. Make a list and keep the packing for alternate scenarios limited to the 'most likely to happen' ones. Extra clothes for accidents. Medicines to deal with common cold etc. If there are extreme situations then just go to the doctor or get some cheap clothes (or sheets) from the supermarket.

2. Accept your child's eating will change whilst travelling. Let it go. Just keep them fed and unless they are allergic to things, let them eat what your destination areas provide. You'll notice your luggage size going down when you don't pack food for every day of your trip. I just make note of supermarkets and stores when I get to the destination.

3. Routine, for me, goes out the window. I roughly keep a routine and I know when they get tired but sticking to the specific nap times may also go out the door because guess what, the kids would just as much be awed by a new place as you are. Let it be.

4. Pack multi-purpose items. For example, for me, a scarf can be used for the neck, a child's skirt (when you run out of clothes) and as a blanket.

5. Ask for help and take a breathe. Sometimes you have to pack off your ego and accept that you may not have the energy to do it yourself. So ask for help. Ask to stop and think when things get out of control. Say you need 15 mins to breathe. You'll be amazed at how much help people will provide (even strangers).

As my children are growing older, it does get easier. If you enjoy travelling then you learn and adapt to your kids behaviour. Recently my husband travelled alone with our first born (6 years later) for the first time. He's a very self-capable man and always ready to take on any challenge when it comes to the family. I saw a small panic in his eyes the day before....

I just smiled and told him, "Relax. You'll be fine. Take it slow. Keep him clean, safe and fed and you'll be fine."