MOTHERHOOD DIARIES | Mummy Coffee Date at School

Notice received. Mummy's play date at school.

When is it? Mid-week,

mid-working day and

scheduled to be in 2 days.

Chances of getting time off to go? 

"I'm flexible with my timings but not a 'social influencer' type flexible."

I can't blame my company. If I'm in the middle of a project and if my team mate kept dropping out in the middle of a project every 2 days, I'm pretty sure the project would not finish.

With the creation of social media for school, the concept of having information sent to you through an app on school events is amazing. The fact that I can keep in touch with the teachers without having to fix an appointment is double amazing. Note though, this app is still only a communication medium. The key to all the messages sent still has a human standing behind it. That human has to understand the different dynamics of parents that are there. Let's start with working parents!

When the 'organisers' of school events consists of 'stay at home' mothers with no thoughts for the working mothers, you pretty much get events organised meant only for the 'stay at home' mothers.

Forget the part that as a working mum, you're not able to make all the 'social' and well intentioned 'mingling' events with parents, when you finally do manage to set aside some time to their school, the scenario usually goes like this.

1. What do I wear? Work clothes….too formal. Home clothes….don't think they'll appreciate pyjamas. Realised that I don't own any day time social gathering type clothes. Jeans it is!

2. Traffic. It's 9am! Why is there traffic to school? Hasn't everyone reached work?

3. Bring Snacks. Was I meant to bring a snack? Oh!....swerve off the highway and scout for a bakery. It wasn't from my kitchen but they'll have to eat from someone else's kitchen today!

4. 15mins late, you head to the gate. Security looks at you at tells you that Grade 4 is the 'other' gate on the 'other' side. (Why do I not know where my kid's class is by now?)

5. 1/2 hr late, you stumble into class hoping that the perfume you sprayed still holds strong. Wait….which one's the teacher?

6. Right, breath, set down the plate for mini pizzas (ignoring it was a healthy snack list that was given). Look around and then you scout the room. There are the popular mothers, there are the ethnic non-english speaking ones, there are the nerds….there's a woman standing by herself….I'll go say hi to her. Oh wait, she's moving to the popular group.

And as if on cue, they all stopped talking and stare.

I can't exactly explain at 'which moment' I became the new girl in high school again.

So the day passed, and I vaguely remember taking a deep breathe, having reminded myself I'm a grown up woman now. It helped that the kids were giggling in delight when they saw me and proudly told their teacher that I was their long lost mother. Finishing all the niceties, I exited that school having felt I had just traveled to an alternate universe and back.

This is one of the trade-offs that come with being a working mother. You will never be part of that 'it' group of mothers that make a social circle within the school.  

So I changed my perspective. I came to that school for the delight of my children, and removed the focus on trying to gel with the school like I would with my work team. Think about it, if any of the stay at home mums came randomly to my company, we'd probably also stand in our own circles and stare at them too. 

Have you ever felt like the school doesn't cater for working parents?

Have you had any funny experiences when you did manage to go to the school?